Two points from seven games means that Tottenham's Points per Match average (PpM - pronounced "pee pee em", or "peem" for short) currently stands at 0.29. When this figure is multiplied up for a full season of 38 matches, it gives a Projected Points per Season (PPpS - pronounced "peeps", although some prefer "poops") total of 10.86.
They are thus on track to beat the record for the least points ever obtained in a full Premiership season, established by Derby County just 5 months ago at 11:
This phenomenon, where a team's PPpS returns a value below the existing record, is known to statisticians as the Gazunder Effect; the difference between the PPpS and the existing record is known as the Gazunder Gap (usually pronounced "geegee", although we feel "gaga" is more appropriate). A team in this situation is said to be in the Gazunder Zone ("geezed").
So Tottenham are currently in the Gazunder Zone, and their Gazunder Gap is given by the equation:
Tottenham 10.86 - Derby 11.00 = -0.14
These figures change as every game is played. Our researchers will endeavour to keep you posted on any significant developments in this esoteric world of peems, peeps and gagas.