Sunday, 28 September 2008

All good things

. . . come to an end, sooner or later.

This historic instance of the Seven Sisters Conjunction lasted 7 days, from Sat 20 - Sat 27 Sep, and ended yesterday at 7.45pm, with this defeat resulting in our being pushed down into 4th place. Tottenham, the dears, did their bit, losing at Portsmouth today and thereby staying where they appear to be most comfortable. Alas, a futile endeavour - the damage had already been done.

So the Differential (or 'Gap') is currently 16. We very much hope it will get back to 19, soon.

Saturday, 27 September 2008

Out of alignment

Gareth Bale hits the nail on the head:

"Out of alignment. Growth problems. Almost didn't make it. Bale could be talking about the club he now plays for, Tottenham Hotspur." (See Growing pains at the Lane, if you must)

But he was, we're sure he was.

Friday, 26 September 2008

There must be some mistake

We have studied this image carefully, and we are sure it has been photoshopped. Either that, or those responsible have deliberately chosen a point* on Forest Road near the junction with Wood Street in order to perpetrate their deception.

The GNERS would like to put out an appeal to those familiar with the area for a genuine photograph showing the correct score, so that we can set the record straight.

Our geographical section has analysed this map, and has come to the conclusion that the most promising locations will probably be found somewhere on Philip Lane, or possibly along the Great Cambridge Road. Another possibility could be the North Circular Road, in the Edmonton area, perhaps near Silver Street station.

* no pun intended

[Thanks again to Alan for bringing this to our attention]

Travel warning

Down the Tube: Transport for London are aware of the situation, but say it is not their responsibility.

[Thanks to Alan and his Geordie friend]

If we draw Spurs

The draw for the 4th round of the League Cup takes place tomorrow. If Arsenal are drawn against Spurs, Arsène Wenger insists he will stick to his principles.

"I will pick a team I think can win the game", he said.

[Thanks to Pierre and the researchers at Le Grove, who found this photo in a 5-star hotel somewhere]

Thursday, 25 September 2008

Shocked by Spurs

We believe that THFC's newest recruit may well have hit the nail on the head. And he's only been there 3 weeks!

Roman Pavlyuchenko shocked by Spurs
“White Hart lane is crazy! I don’t even know how to describe it,” he said.
“You go out for a game and you get goose bumps. The fans sing, yell, and stand up and applaud. They don’t even need goals... "

We have distilled the essence of the original article for you, but if you insist you can read the full text here.

Mind the Gap!

We are pleased to announce that our design team have come up with a new logo, which we think well expresses the Society's aims and objectives. We hope you like it.

Please note that, as a consequence of the adoption of the new logo, the Society has had to change the wording of its motto: 'Mind the Differential'. The designers were adamant that it needed changing. They felt it was too long for the new design, there were too many letters, people wouldn't be able to read it, if they could they wouldn't understand it - all the sorts of things that designers say. They suggested we needed something shorter, snappier, and came up with 'Mind the Gap'.

The Society is happy to accept this recommendation, but will continue to use the scientific concept 'differential' in its research work.

PS: the Society wishes to thank Arsenal Addict for the idea for the new logo and motto. Much better than what we had in mind!

The Grove N5 Educational Research Society

We would like to make it clear that the team conducting this investigation are in fact the Grove N5 Educational Research Society (GNERS). They have a long association with the THoF Institute, dating back to Plumstead and Woolwich days, and accompanied them on their recent move from Avenell Road to The Grove. Although the research team itself is small, the Society has over 100000 members, and millions of supporters around the world.

Views expressed here are those of the GNERS and do not necessarily represent those of the THoF Institute itself. Just in case you wondered.

Wednesday, 24 September 2008

Conjunction confirmed

Table 2 (above) shows that the current Seven Sisters Conjunction is not a momentary phenomenon. Indeed, researchers confirm that this table will stay valid until the publication of Table 3 on the evening of Sat 27 Sep, by which time Conjunction will have lasted a full week; Table 4 is due on Sun 28.

In the meantime followers of the Conjunction are expected to lose no opportunity to exercise their Bragging Rights.

The Seven Sisters Conjunction

Scientists at the North London research institute THoF believe we are currently witnessing what is possibly the first ever occurrence of a phenomenon known as the Seven Sisters Conjunction. This is defined as the moment when the two bodies AFC and THFC appear at the extreme opposite ends of their seasonal trajectories. Researchers refer to these extremes as positions 1 and 20.

The Seven Sisters Conjunction is a special instance of the more general phenomenon known as the Seven Sisters Differential. This is calculated through the formula: (x) AFC :: (y) THFC. At the present time the values of x and y are 1 and 20 respectively (please see Table 1 for details).

This gives the result: 1 AFC :: 20 THFC, so the Differential is currently +19 (see note 1), and the two bodies are indeed in a state of Conjunction.

The Seven Sisters Conjunction is by its very nature temporary. It could last as little as a few minutes, depending on what are known as KO times, or it could be a matter of days, weeks, or even months. The two bodies could slip out of conjunction, and then slip back in again later. However, there is a limit: Conjunction cannot carry through from one season to the next. Were THFC to remain in position 20 for the remainder of the present season, it would find itself relocated to a secondary universe or ‘Division’, and the calculations would have to be done on a different basis (see note 2).

A further point to note is that, were a situation of Conjunction, or near Conjunction, to persist, this could well affect the timing of the annual celebration of St Totteringham’s Day. Mathematically this cannot occur before the mid-point of the season, but observers will no doubt be watching with interest.

We will try to keep track of events as they unfold here.

1) You will notice that the Differential is expressed here as a positive value - this is normal. Negative values (ie, where the value for THFC is lower than that for AFC) have been known to occur, but they are atypical and are usually of brief duration.

2) Were THFC to be relocated to a secondary Division, the Differential would have to be expressed in the form: 1.x AFC :: 2.y THFC, and the value of the Differential would depend on the maximum values of these coefficients - for several years now (1) has had a max of 20, and (2) a max of 24.

As an illustration, in the event of a hypothetical situation of 1.1 AFC :: 2.24 THFC, the Differential would be +43 (1::44), and the situation would be classed as a Secondary Conjunction. This is regarded as highly unlikely to happen in the short term, but as the THoF researchers say, “you never know”.